Friday, July 27, 2012

A Collection of Terms for Describing an Aging Grandparent



Toaster Oven: this is her main appliance, used for heating plain toast or toast with cheese or potatoes. Sometimes she cooks potatoes in the toaster oven, leaves them in for three hours on 350 degrees and whines that they don’t make potatoes like they used to when she filches out the hard, shriveled skins.

Linoleum: the kitchen floor is linoleum. A pale cream color with gray marks leftover from raising three boys and a husband and three daughters-in-law and six grandchildren who always gather in the kitchen. It’s supple and creased, like her face.

Ceiling: Her husband made the rich wooden beams that grid the ceiling before he died. She used to invite in the mailman and present it to cops, and they marveled at the worksmanship. She is easily made proud. My dad does woodwork too, and she brags about his talent to supermarket cashiers and family members.

Make-up: she cakes on foundation and turns her cheeks neon with blush, then weighs down her drooping lids with bright blue eyeshadow and dribbles mascara over her stumpy lashes. Her hair used to get done up with fluffy curls, so it resembled a beehive, but now she has resigned herself to a bun at the nape of her neck.

Model: her adjective for all the female grandchildren. I have a “gorgeous model figure,” my sister has a “lovely model face,” my cousins “stand like models” and “speak like models.” Every day she tells me I am beautiful.

Raisin Bran: the only cereal she eats. When she comes to our house for dinner or we go to restaurants, she mushes up her food with her fork so it looks like a crumb-cake topping, no matter what it was originally – fish, carrots, cookies. I think the Raisin Bran is the only food she does not crumble up.

Jewish: this is why she didn’t marry the Italian man she loved, but chose my granddad instead. She, and my family, expect me to marry Jewish, even if I have to do the same. A part of me, a part of me that I am disgusted by, wishes she won’t be around to see me turn my back on my heritage. If I decide to put love first.

White: the color her hair would be if she didn’t dye it, and the color of every piece of clothing she owns.

Ninety: her age. I hope it’s genetic.

Tender: the way my dad’s voice sounds when he asks her questions and she doesn’t know the answer. Questions like, “What year is it?”, “What was your grandmother’s name?”, “Do you remember which pills to take?”

Hearing Aids: we pool our money to buy them for exorbitant amounts of money, but still we end up repeating ourselves in higher and higher octaves when we talk to her.

Lip-Reading: we suspect that she can do so, learned from years of faulty hearing aids, I guess, but she never mentions it and pretends not to hear when we do.

Laugh: a comforting cackle is the best way I can describe it, or a sped-up, lilting hiccup. She laughs when her sons joke or when she didn’t hear what you said. “Do you like the peas, Grandma?” Laugh.

Ma: the name she is called by my dad and his brothers. I used to think it was nasally and jarring when they said it, but now I think that maybe it’s perfect.

House: five minutes from mine, where my dad grew up, where my uncles played, where my granddad built things in the garage, where my mom met her mother-in-law for the first time, where I go once a week to talk with her, even though I end up having the same conversation six times because she can’t remember what we talked about already.

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