An open book seems
to have skid to a reluctant halt just before reaching the sheer cliff at the
edge of the mattress. The blankets have been tossed haphazardly aside, a
fraying quilt doing little to conceal the stained white sheet set. A pillow,
all lumps and pink butterflies, blobs below the book at the side of the bed.
Carelessly
purchased greeting cards make a queue on every available surface, clichés in
and of themselves. A few scattered, tiny, but well-meaning flowers lay on the
floor, complacent and sickened.
The
television at the end of the bed displays colorful static interspersed with a
few meaningless images, and a full glass of milk watches from its position on
the splintery hardwood floor. Its view is diminished by a lacy nightgown the
color of toothpaste that fluttered overtop of it in the youthful breeze emitted
from the mostly-open window.
The
light peeking through the opening is so blinding that it drove the sickness
out, and outside, giggling can be heard. In the end, it wasn’t the cards or the
flowers or the milk or entertainment that mattered, it was the light and the
freedom and the open door waiting for her next to the window.
Sage
2-23-12
My favorite sentence in this whole thing is the first one. I think it sets the scene in a way so that you don't expect what comes next. Also, I think the imagery and language in this is your best. :)
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